Kidney Mama

Rollie Merriman had an organ donor card and planned to have his organs transplanted after his death, but one day he saw a TV commercial about organ donation and thought, “Why wait?”

“I’m a very blessed person,” Merriman said. “I’m 54 years old, I’ve lived a very healthy life. Well there’s somebody out there who isn’t. Two people a day out there die from not having an organ donation and I thought, ‘Well, one day there’s only going to be one. I’m going to help somebody out.’”

It’s more like 10 or 11, but the sentiment holds true. After seeing the commercial for organ donation, Rollie made plans to donate a kidney to a stranger.

Melanie, who had had kidney problems for years, was very appreciative, but a little confused.

“My first question to him was ‘Why?’ Because for somebody to give so unselfishly, you just don’t see that,” Hall said.

You’d be surprised.

Mel’s father was also very grateful.

The moment Merriman said he will never forget was his embrace with Hall’s father.

“For a father to come up and hug you and say ‘You’re saving a life,’ and the life you’re saving is his daughter, and he starts crying, if that doesn’t get you, nothing will,” he said.

I got nothing to add. Congrats.

Christy McGinnity started thinking about being a living kidney donor to a stranger about a year ago. She recently had the opportunity to meet the woman she helped, Regina Davis. Christy’s donation started off a kidney donor chain, since Regina’s daughter donated a kidney to a stranger in another city in return for the gift to her mother.

Christy’s decision to be a living kidney donor began with reading a newspaper article about Lauraleigh Devey, who needed a kidney transplant.

“I didn’t even finish the article,” McGinnity said. “I picked up the phone and called Johns Hopkins. I got caught up in the moment. I didn’t look at it as a big deal. It’s a kidney. God gives you two kidneys, and you can live with one.”

She didn’t end up being a match for Lauraleigh, but the hospital asked if she’d consider donating a kidney to someone else. She said, of course.

“It bothers me that I went 39 years without doing it. I could have helped someone years ago.”

A few months later, the hospital called to see if she would donate to Regina. She would. (In the meantime, Devey had received a kidney transplant from another stranger, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, after the surgery, they had an opportunity to meet.

“We both looked at each other and the first thing we did was cry,” Davis said. “It was tear city.” …

“I feel very blessed that I could help her,” McGinnity said.

Regina is very appreciative, needless to say.

“Seventy hours a week I spent hooked up to a machine in order to live,” she said. “Will this change my life? Yes. I told [Christy] she is my sister, and I will always have a part of her. She’s given me a second chance at life.”

Congrats to everyone involved! Hope the chain keeps right on rolling.

Brandi Kirkpatrick is a teacher at a school, where she learned that a parent of a student was in need of a kidney transplant. Gwen McNair-Riley had been on the transplant list for five years before last week’s kidney transplant. From Brandy.

“I can’t believe we only had surgery two days ago,” said Kirkpatrick. “I feel fine thanks to a new laparoscopic noninvasive procedure.”

Yeah, that laparoscopic surgery is some good stuff. I was out of the hospital the next day, and shopping the day after that.

Through tears of joy, McNair sobbed,” She has given me the gift of life for sure! I will now be able to travel, get full time work, and work on my degree.”

Hurray!

Now, about the supposed rarity of interracial kidney transplants, as noted in this article, regular readers here have seen any number of stories about someone donating a kidney to someone of another race. My own living kidney donation was to a man of another race.

It isn’t hard to match someone of another race. We don’t have black blood or white blood or Latino blood, as this article might lead you to believe. Antibodies that can nix a match have nothing to do with the color of your skin. But sure, the more alike you are to the person who receives your kidney, the less the chance of rejection.

Congrats to Brandi and Gwen; though their transplant situation is hardly “rare,” it is beautiful.

After a relative received a bone marrow transplant, Pamela Deufrene began thinking about becoming a living kidney donor. She headed over to MatchingDonors.com and really related to Renee Tricarico, who lost her kidney function to PKD.

In the video accompanying the article linked above, she notes that being a donor is a great feeling and that it is an opportunity to help not only the kidney recipient but also that person’s entire family, as her family was helped by a bone marrow transplant.

Their surgery was earlier this week. Awesome.

Former Book Guild owner Doug Robertson heard a story on the news about a woman who received a kidney transplant. He thought, “What a good thing to do for someone.” And so it began.

One month since becoming a living kidney donor, Doug knows only that his recipient is doing well.

“Hopefully, this will save their life — or at least prolong it,” he said.

Robertson called his own recovery “terrific.” He can now do everything he was doing before the surgery — aside from heavy lifting. There are no changes necessary to Robertson’s diet or lifestyle, he said.

“I’ve always been in great health; my biggest frustration was waiting for [the kidney transplant] to happen,” Robertson said. “I had to put it in perspective that the recipient has been waiting for years for a transplant and they are not well. … I would do it again in a heartbeat, if I had another kidney (to give).”

Congrats to Doug and his lucky kidney transplant recipient.

Harvey Mysel is the recipient of a kidney from a living kidney donor, and now runs the Living Kidney Donor Network. He holds workshops for people who need a kidney transplant on how best to do outreach to find someone willing to donate. Like me, Harvey believes that when they become aware of the need, good people will step up and become living kidney donors.

This is from Harvey’s blog:

Wouldn’t it be nice if….

Someone who is in need of a kidney transplant attended a Living Kidney Donors Network Workshop and was told to go out and tell everyone they meet about their situation ….imagine that this person puts a sign in his front yard explaining his need …..and places fliers on local community boards, in libraries, stores and banks that describe his situation. Imagine that the local newspaper would show an interest and write a story about him….and local TV stations would interview him….and CNN and other national media companies would air the story. Could you imagine that over 200 people would call this person to say that they want to help and offer to donate one of their kidneys? Could that really happen?

Well, you don’t have to imagine it….that is what happened to Mark Wolper last week.

I have been helping Mark and his friends returning phone calls and emails to all those people, thanking them. And to make this story even more interesting, these people have indicated that they are willing to donate to someone else when Mark finds his one donor.

Fantastic. Especially the part about being willing to donate to someone else if not Mark.

This just in from Robyn Wheatley, who donated a kidney to a stranger earlier this month and wrote this essay on July 23.

Yesterday I met the man who now has my left kidney. He had no idea who I was prior to our meeting yesterday, and I had no idea who he was. We were strangers. For both of us, I am confident in saying, our identities and what we looked like did not matter. But, we are no longer strangers. With tears of joy, he and I hugged and exchanged a nervous greeting and shared an appreciation for what had just happened not yet a week prior. His life has been changed in obvious ways, but this process has indeed changed my life in less obvious ways; it has made me re-evaluate the value I place on my own life and relationships.

I will be processing this for some time to come. But I’m getting ahead of myself with the story.

On Thursday, July 15, I donated one of my kidneys to a complete stranger, starting off a chain for a kidney swap. (See The Alliance for Paired Donation for more information on how altruistic donor chains work.) I had the surgery at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Very simply, I did this because I can. The decision I made had come after a lot of research and consultation, and much time and effort.

I was inspired to start this process back in March as I read the story of another local man’s recent decision to donate a kidney to a cashier at a food store he frequented over the years. He learned of the woman’s progressively deteriorating health and was made aware of her kidney disease. She had exhausted all possibilities with family members and close friends-no one was a match. The man offered to get evaluated as a potential donor. It turns out that he matched her well, and the rest is history. The woman gets to live a longer, fuller life of many years and will no longer be subjected to the torture of dialysis. That was all I needed to hear. After doing some initial research (of which there is a plethora) I called Northwestern Memorial Hospital’s kidney transplant program. Their reputation precedes them.

I do understand and appreciate that what I have done is unusual. It is not for everyone. As I have shared this news with people I received wonderful support and encouragement; there have been a few looks of puzzlement; and, lastly, there have been many who still can’t seem to wrap their heads around why it is I would choose to donate one of my kidneys to someone whose identity is unknown to me, not a family member, not a friend, not even an acquaintance. Regardless of the response, I know that all of the comments come from a place of love and concern, and include people very dear to me.

The transplants were “successful,” and both recipients are doing well. It turns out all of us in both pairings live near and within Chicago’s city limits, and we are all in our 30s. The recipient of my kidney laughed and said that his girlfriend, who coincidentally donated her kidney to the recipient in the second pair, when it was found that she was not a match for my recipient, was certain that his donor would be a woman. Well, he said, “she was right.” As we walked out of the transplant center today I said, “Don’t be surprised if you cry more easily now; that may be my influence. I am known to be openly emotional.” He assured me he’d take good care of his new, healthy kidney, and I was certain he would – never a doubt, not really something I even pondered to be honest. If anyone would not take a healthy transplanted kidney for granted, it’s someone like these two recipients who have each spent years on dialysis not knowing when, where or if a transplant would ever be a possibility.

As I’m reflecting on the meeting with the recipient of my kidney and the woman in the second pairing I am wishing more people knew the facts about living kidney donation and how little effort was involved relative to the life-changing/life-saving that has been made possible with my left kidney. I would do this again in a heartbeat if I could. The transplant team did all of the hard work with comprehensive evaluation of myself and matching with the recipient and pairs. My hard work came immediately after the surgery, if I can even call it hard work.

If I had more kidneys to donate I would do so, it is that powerful. The woman in the second pair of the chain had just had a difficult conversation with the transplant team; she was not sure she had many options left. But, as an altruistic living donor in the equation I was able to indirectly give her back quality and quantify to her life; it has given her back hope and future possibilities. What a small price I paid. My one-pound kidney represents so much more than just an organ and returned functionality to another; it is a gift that my body was able to provide-it is life. And, the gift is not just from me to the then-stranger in need, it is to me as well. It’s reaffirming, makes me want to appreciate my life and everyone I have in it with me, something that’s not come so easily in the recent past.

Words seem inadequate to describe the experience. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or if you are looking to converse with someone who has been through the process: robynwheatley@yahoo.com

I just met Ms. Angela Stimpson, whose blog you may peruse at your leisure. She is preparing to be a nondirected living kidney donor and is blogging the entire process. Which is so great. Check it out.

“Will she want a gay kidney?” Jen Denis wondered about the potential kidney transplant recipient she met on MatchingDonors.com. Turns out the rest of Rene Miranda was already gay, so the kidney was indeed a perfect match.

Says Rene:

“I was afraid she would not want to give her kidney to a lesbian, and she thought I would not want her lesbian kidney! Needless to say we bonded after that great exchange. Jen Denis is my earth angel!”

How cute is Jen’s dad, Jeff?

“I tell people about what my daughter is doing and they tell me I should be very proud. . . . She is a wonderful person and I guess that I am getting a new daughter since Rene will have some of my DNA. Welcome to the family, Rene.”

Trust me, those lesbian kidneys are sturdy; mine has been doing its thing for a lovely Brooklyn man for just under a year. Ladies, if your blogs are ongoing, please send me links!

“You know it’s just a little bit of pain to save someone’s life and I feel like everyone should be more willing to give,” said Tamara Greene.

Tamara, 23, decided a while back that she wanted to donate a kidney to someone, anyone, in need. She signed up with Tulane’s transplant program and ended up being the key to creating a three-kidney transplant chain.

“My uncle has renal failure and because he was on the list for so long he can’t have a transplant now, because he needs a heart, a pancreas, and two kidneys. So just knowing that if there are more people that were willing to give, he could have been saved. All the trouble and all the hurt, it’s just something that I feel like we can do,” said Greene.

Renee Credeur Bergeron received Tamara’s kidney.

“Until sickness really affects your family, you really don’t understand the impact that it has on your life. It completely changes you life and we need donors. And I have two young kids and I didn’t want to go on dialysis. So I’m very blessed, very blessed,” said Bergeron, voice cracking with tears in her eyes.

Good for you, Tamara! Congrats to all.